


Kairosclerosis

by Nelthalen, Paralexium



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Arthur Pendragon (Merlin) - Freeform, Bottom Merlin (Merlin), Confusion, Considerate Arthur, First Time, Gentleman Arthur, M/M, Merlin (Merlin) - Freeform, Merlin has no magic, Nervous Merlin, Oblivious Arthur, Power Play (suggestive), Sassy Merlin, Semi-explicit sex, Top Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), slight dominance kink, submissive merlin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:41:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22217203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nelthalen/pseuds/Nelthalen, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paralexium/pseuds/Paralexium
Summary: Our second role play which was actually our first before our Skyrim role play short story, but we took a break from it seeing as we got a bit stuck with it. We have now re-read it and tried our best to edit it and section it up for easier reading.This role play tells the story of how Merlin and Arthur came to realize their feelings for each other after a slightly heated argument about Morgana (go figure...) Their feelings now on the table, grants them the opportunity to delve further into the intimate part of their relationship, though Merlin is still not too sure how Arthur really feels about him, and if he truly loves Merlin.Merlin can't help but trying to remind Arthur about his need of an heir for the throne, about how Uther would kill them both should he find out his son might have laid with a mere manservant. All dangers and uncertainties cloud around in both their minds, but will that stop them from going after what they both wish? what they both need from each other?Love and happiness comes to those who fight for it and for those who have the patience.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

The torches along the walls cast a warm comforting glow on the stone, a stark contrast to the cold and grey weather outside. Arthur ran a hand through his hair, shaking water out of the locks. His muscles were sore, a few even painfully so, but nothing he had not experienced before. His boots were soaked through, the downpour leaving the earth full of mud and puddles. Arthur and his knights had returned to the castle not that long ago.

After seeing to it that the horses were being taken care of, he had dismissed Lancelot, Gwaine and Leon, telling them to get some well deserved rest. The travel had not been particularly long, but still arduous thanks to the weather. As well as the hunting for the bandits which they had been searching for. They now had leads, but had been unable to locate the camp of the marauders. It irked Arthur though, that they couldn't ensure justice would be brought upon them for their stealing, and plundering of the villages they had gone through. However, there was no more to be done at the moment.

He sighed lowly in relief as he came to the door of his chambers. He would get a bath, a warm meal, and then hopefully a few hours of rest before new notices required his attention. A thought struck him that he had better check in on Merlin while he was at it. With his luck, the ungainly manservant had found more trouble to get into, Arthur thought, with a small chuckle, as he opened the door. 

Tired was the understatement of the year for Merlin, today simply wasn’t his day. His chores were too many to even count on two hands and a foot. One thing after the other, and if that wasn’t enough, Morgana had been breathing down his neck the entire time. Nothing was good enough for the Lady. 

Right now Merlin was too annoyed and tired to hear the door behind him open, signaling the return of Arthur. He’d stormed right into Arthur’s chamber the second he finished his last chore. And literally threw himself face down onto the bed, not caring about who it belonged to. He turned his face to the side and muttered “stupid driggle-draggle gnashbag.” before letting out a loud exasperated sigh.

The sight of his chambers after the long day was a welcome one for the prince of Camelot. What did cause him pause, was the sight of the bed he longed for was not empty as he had expected it to be. A mop of unruly black hair could be seen on top of fluffy pillows, a pair of big ears sticking out from the locks. 

Standing still in the doorway, Arthur stared at the form of his manservant incomprehensibly for a few long moments. Before sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose. Well, now he at least didn't have to call on Merlin for him to draw a bath. The buffoon was already here, and in the prince's bed no less. Taking a nap. Closing the door behind him did not draw attention from the young man on the bed, and Arthur rolled his eyes. He took off his leather gloves, and approaching the bed, called out; “Merlin you oaf, care to tell me what you are doing?”. 

Hearing the voice of the Prince made Merlin stand up faster than humanly possible. For how long had Arthur been standing there just watching him? “Oh, you’re still alive?” Merlin dodged the question and in turn, asked the prince a question back rather sarcastically. He didn’t feel like answering his question anyway. 

Standing there, Merlin took in the figure of the other man. He looked just as tired as he himself felt. “Do you wish for me to draw a bath for you, Sire?” He knew what the answer would be so Merlin walked to the tub standing near the fireplace, ready to prepare a nice hot bath. Best medicine for sore muscles and princes.

Raising an eyebrow at the greeting, Arthur followed Merlin with his eyes as the other turned to the tub. “Don't sound so disappointed, I might think you don't ́t like me,'' he scoffed. 

The prince turned back and began loosening his cape, and placed it on the coat rack. Hopefully it would dry within a few hours. The same could not be said for his pants, tragically. “If you have time for a nap, then I assume you have time for more productive things as well,'' he called out. Taking off his boots, he winced slightly at their sorry state. 

Something snapped inside Merlin at that last sentence coming from the high assed prince. “Well excuse me, but without me, you would have been nowhere near able to ride outside of this castle without feeling like a total clotpole!” Just before Merlin had picked up a towel, but that was quickly thrown down onto the floor in a fit of rage. “Also, just so we’re clear, no, I don’t like you. I especially don’t like you when you think I am nothing but a mere servant. Here, only for you. You think I sit around doing nothing all day don’t you? Well, here’s the fact, I don’t!” Merlin felt out of breath and he could hear his heart drumming in his chest.

His face felt hot with anger and frustration. He wasn’t done ranting though. He continued, “I can’t even do my chores in peace because your gnashbag of a ‘sister’ keeps on breathing down my neck. Making sure I don't miss a single speckle of dust. If she is so unsatisfied with my work, she is more than welcome to do it herself next time!” Merlin was done with his tantrum now. He felt satisfied with himself, but as he got down from his high he realised who he had been ranting to. The prince. His life was over now. He might as well go to his chamber, pack his things and say his goodbye to Gaius, Gwen and all the knights.

It felt like hours had gone by as he stood there, his world had begun to crumble. He finally collected himself, hurriedly apologizing. “I-I’m very sorry, sire. I didn’t mean to pour all this over you. I will take my leave before the break of dawn tomorrow. I'll have another servant bring you hot water for your bath.” Having said that, Merlin made his way to the doors.

Standing stunned and speechless in the face of Merlin's rant, Arthur didn't utter a sound. The moment the black haired young man had rounded on him, he could see the clear anger and frustration in the other ́s eyes. Until now, Arthur had not noticed how utterly exhausted Merlin must have been. Black bags underneath his eyes, and an even paler complexion than normal, which was quite a feat. 

He had not intended for his words to sound the way they did. And yet he came with another snide remark at Merlin ́s expense. However, he had not anticipated so strongly a reaction. Moreover, what was this about Morgana? He had known for a while she liked to tease and take up Merlin ́s time while he had duties to attend to. Yet Arthur asked and he was told that his manservant was simply being tardy. And now Merlin tells him that Morgana has been making his chores difficult and time consuming on purpose? Then the rest of what Merlin had spouted caught up with him. He felt a flicker of irritation, mixed with confusion at the situation he found himself in. 

“Now you just wait a darn minute!” Arthur hurriedly ran for the door and placed his arm on it to prevent Merlin from leaving. Then, looked the other in the eye and said; “I think that we can both agree that on days like this, with both of us exhausted out of our minds, the feeling is mutual. However,” he said, before Merlin could try to interrupt him and make him lose his train of thought, “of course I don't see you as a mere servant, you twit. I should hope not, with the way you have formed friendships with the knights and Guinevere”. He took a moment to breathe and collect himself before he continued in a more subdued voice. “And what do mean you will leave before dawn? I don't think Gaius will appreciate that very much”. He looked at Merlin, waiting for an answer. 

Merlin didn’t think he had seen the prince move so fast before. In no time had he barricaded the door. He stared directly into the ocean blue eyes, he could see the irritation flickering inside them. When Arthur had barricaded the door, Merlin took a tiny step back from where he stood. Shocked over the fact the prince didn’t want him to leave. 

He thought about what Arthur had just told him, realizing it was true. He didn’t want to leave Gaius, Gwen or the knights. They meant so much to him. So did Arthur.

“You say Gaius won’t appreciate it if I leave, that’s true. Neither will the knights or Gwen. But what about you, Sire? I am certain if I were to leave, you wouldn’t miss me even a bit. Yes, you might have just said I am more than a mere servant to you. Please explain to me then, why do you treat me the way you do?” It was Merlin’s turn to have a look of confusion edged into his face. Where was this even going? It didn’t really matter, nothing would change after this. 

“I-that is-its”, Arthur cursed himself internally. He could only blame himself for setting up this whole scenario. He was way too tired for this nonsense, but honestly, he would have to come with an explanation now. Or Merlin would go out that door and not return. Blunt honesty was useful when he trained with the knights. Their way of talking was full of insults, even directed at him. At least with those he had the closest relationships with, even though it irked his father to be so companionable with others of lower social stature. Merlin though. Ever since meeting each other, their interactions had been filled with just as much sarcasm and japs. Easily blending over to actual insults.

Though it took a stab at his pride as a prince, Arthur had to face the situation. Admittedly, he could only assume that he had expected nothing less than their usual banter when returning home today. And yet, Merlin had taken serious offence and, if Arthur were to believe him, for good reason at the expense of his “sister”. “Can you honestly tell me that the months you have been here have not shown that we have both grown a least a bit on one another? You give me as much jab on a near daily basis as I give you. Look, I will say this: it was not my intent to cause offense with my remark earlier”. 

Seeing Arthur struggling to find his words, Merlin had to hold back a bit of a smirk. It usually wasn’t a problem. Merlin knew he had poked a bit to the prince’s pride. He deserved as much. Thought he eventually felt bad about it and he broke the eye contact they had been holding the entire time. It didn’t feel right to look his sire in the eyes after what he had said.

“No, in honesty I can't say we haven’t grown on each other. But I think we have grown on each other in different ways. I know you didn’t mean to cause offense earlier, but this whole thing with Morgana… the whole castle staff is tense. No one is safe from her watchful eyes. Having a banter with you every now and then is the only thing making me smile these days. Today though… Today is not a good day for either of us.” Merlin kept his eyes trained on the floor he knew so well, from all the times he had washed it.

He felt his ears and cheeks begin to turn red. Mostly from shame and then the fact he had confessed something so private. “Let’s just forget this whole thing and keep going about our day, okay? If that would be fine with you that is, Sire.” 

Seeing Merlin looking at the floor while uttering his explanation, Arthur mused on what he’d been told.”Believe me when I say that I know of Morgana ́s machinations here in Camelot. She has...changed. She was always very clever and knew how to get her way. But lately I can describe her disposition as cruel”. Arthur ran a hand through his messy hair once again. “I enjoy our time together as well”. He winced at his own admission. Not feeling awkward at all yet trying to safe face at least somewhat. 

“You can be incredibly frustrating when you put your mind to it”. At this Arthur put a light hand on Merlin ́s shoulder, giving it a slight squeeze. “But that stubborn loyalty of yours more than makes up for all else. You stand by me and the others here in Camelot”. When Merlin didn't answer him for a few moments, Arthur took hold of Merlin ́s free shoulder, and tried to find his eyes beneath his bangs. “Merlin? Don't ́t tell me you have fallen asleep on your feet. Because you know, I WILL carry you through the castle back to your rooms if i have to”. He smirked. 

The last sentence made Merlin snap up his head, and eye contact was made once again. Merlin wanted to wipe that smirk off his face right now, but he would be lying if he said he didn’t actually like it just a bit. He grew flustered under the prince’s gaze. He retorted, “You know, you can be extremely frustrating as well. You’re arrogant and your ego is bigger than that of your father’s!” The bantering was back, he knew it. “Such a clotpole.” 

Though Merlin was angry, the hands on his shoulders calmed him down. The warmth of it took the tension away. “Also, only horses can fall asleep on their feet. Or well, that would be hooves… whatever!” He felt a pout coming onto his lips, and Merlin wanted it gone. Now that he thought about it, why were Arthur’s hands staying on his shoulders for this long? When… when had the prince gotten this close to him, without him realising it?. “You will carry me nowhere, you big muck-spout.” 

At his comparison with Uther, the smirk evaporated from Arthur ́s face and he looked off to the side. He loved his father for a long time as he grew up. Though the prince could not ignore that Uther chose to rule through fear, more often more than Arthur had paid attention to in the past. 

He looked Merlin in the eye again. “Your right. Though I sincerely hope to change that as time goes by. MER-lin”. Arthur grinned at the nickname. “And who is going to stop me, hmm? You do seem very exhausted. I could very well explain to Gaius that you had fainted from tiredness and had to assist you in getting back to your room. Either in my arms like a fair maiden or over the shoulder”. Arthur could not hold back his laughter any longer. He clapped Merlin on the shoulders and let go.

“But listen now, I will be having a word with Morgana in regards to her harassment of you. She has her own servants to help her and keep her chambers clean. Come to me if she antagonizes you again”. Even as he said so, Arthur for some reason regretted releasing his manservant for now. Merlin ́s shoulders had been warm against his cold hands. Now that he noticed, Merlin ́s azure blue eyes had flecks of gold from the flames in the fireplace. Making them seem to dance with light. 

Once again Merlin had regretted his words. He should have known how much Athur’s father meant to him. How the prince would feel about being compared to the man and current rule. Arthur wanted to be a better king. 

Merlin didn’t pay much attention to the use of nicknames, but more to the fact that Arthur had let go of his shoulders. And he didn’t want him to. One of Arthur’s hands didn’t manage to go far though. As Merlin grabbed onto it in a tight grip, promising not to let go, he spoke softly, yet with force, “No one is going to stop you, no one CAN stop you. I can assure you I am no fair maiden, thank you very much.” He was proud of Arthur, he really was. One day he would become the greatest king Camelot has ever had. A king needed a queen, that much he knew, how else would he manage to produce an heir? The thought made Merlin grip Arthurs arm tighter than before, so much so, his knuckles turned white. “Let’s stop the talk of your ‘sister’. It only brings anger and frustrations to the chamber.” It was true, that just the mention of her name made Merlin sick to his stomach. Arthur was helping keeping it down some though.

Before he said more, he quickly cast his eyes down to the floor. Making his mind up, then returning his gaze to the prince. “Arthur, please… don’t let go of me… I want your touch…” Merlin had turned desperate and his breathing shallow.

Arthur stilled at the admission. His gaze flickering to the hold on his arm, then back to Merlin who would not meet his eyes. He could see Merlin's ears had gone flushed, and he imagined the blush was easy to see on his pale cheeks and neck. His thoughts had come to an abrupt halt at the other ́s words. His mind did not seem to know how to comprehend what he had just heard.

He was beginning to shiver, and the rational part of him suspected that was from standing around in soaked clothes. However, he was starting to think that maybe, being cold was not the sole reason for the slight shivers he felt down his spine. Merlin could not have hinted at his intentions much clearer and yet...Would this be wise? To do this, with Merlin? The repercussions if the court got wind of their affairs would start a wildfire of problems. Especially for Merlin.

Arthur had to reel in his tumbled thoughts, otherwise he would never get anywhere. A moment later, he drew in a deep long breath, catching Merlin ́s scent along with that of the fireplace. Oh for goodness sake...He was doomed at any rate when it came to this fool. He couldn't deny the attraction he had for the other. Not after all the adventures they had been through together.

Arthur stepped forward and wrapped his arms around the slighter man. Drawing him in close, and buried his face between Merlin ́s neck and shoulder. He spoke in a low tone. “Be careful what you ask for Merlin, I just might not ever let go of you again”. 

In the moment Arthur stepped closer to him and held him close, burying his face between that of his neck and shoulder, Merlin held his breath. He could barely breathe. Not because Arthur held him too tightly, but because he was so excited and didn’t quite know how to react to this. What exactly had he asked for again? He felt lightheaded as he inhaled Arthurs natural scent. It was intoxicating.

“Promise me, that you never will let go of me,” he breathed out. He was hot and bothered. He needed more. “You too should be careful what you ask for, my Lord.” He whispered into Arthur’s ear, low and seductively. Merlin lifted his arms, grabbing a hold on either side of Arthur’s chin. Making him look into his own eyes. He needed to see his face, see if he really wanted the same as Merlin. What he wanted more though, was to kiss those lips of his. He looked into Arthur’s eyes then down to his slightly pink lips, glistening with saliva. 

Merlin was not too bothered by the fact of what the court might think of this. He was pretty sure that whatever they would face, they’d stand together. Nothing would be able to break them apart. He believed this because he knew what kind of man Arthur was, and he loved him for all that he was. Mind body and soul. Everything. 

Imitating Merlin, Arthur brought his own hands up to cup Merlin's face gently. He stroked his cheekbones with his thumbs, feeling the smoothness of the skin. Before slowly leaning in towards the other. His lips met Merlin ́s chastely at first, their first kiss short. Arthur wanted more already. 

He brought one hand up into the black locks and threaded his fingers through the strands. Then he went back in to meet the other ́s lips again and held them there for a few long moments. Turning his face to side slightly to deepen the kiss. His hand in Merlin ́s hair tightened minutely. He wanted Merlin closer, even closer. Arthur could feel his own cheeks become hot and flustered. 

The first kiss was a short one but… it felt good. As Arthur deepened the kiss, Merlin followed him. Their tongues fighting for dominance, exploring every part of the others mouth. When Merlin felt Arthur’s hands tightening in his hair he felt the urge to move his hands down to the blonde’s chest. Further down still, trailing light fingertips over Arthur’s abs underneath the shirt. He could feel the bigger man shiver under the tips of his fingers. 

He reached the hem of his shirt. Grabbed ahold of it, tucking at it to signal what he wanted. He wanted it off. If not the shirt, well then, Merlin would have to turn to a slightly more aggressive turn of events. And very well rip Arthur’s pants down and away. Not yet though, he wanted to savour this. Merlin desired to see Arthur’s naked body, so different from his own. Well sculpted and divine. A warrior's body.

Arthur managed to get the hint through the haze of lust in his mind. Reluctantly leaning back from Merlin, he hastily undid his gauntlets and cape. Letting them fall to the floor without a care for where the ended. He hesitated, tracing the hem of his shirt and gave a small grin. He could see the clear frustration and impatience on Merlin ́s face, and couldn't help but tease just a little.

Merlin pouted and took hold of Arthur ́s wrist again and tugged. “Off. now.” Arthur ́s grin widened and said, “Such insolence, giving orders to your prince.” Before Merlin could respond, probably with another witty comeback or insult as usual, Arthur let him have his way. He pulled his shirt up and off his head, dropping the slightly damp garment on the floor. “Satisfied?” He could almost feel Merlin's eyes trace his torso. “Now don't leave me hanging dear. Reciprocation is expected i’d say”. He looked Merlin up and down. 

“Oh, don’t you worry. I won't leave much hanging when I first get started.” With that said, Merlin got close to Arthur once again. This time, his fingers were able to trace the stomach he had so wished to touch for a long time. As he touched with his one hand, the other grabbed hold of Arthurs shoulder, enabling him to push him back a little. Merlin pushed the blonde all the way to the edge of the king-sized bed. And then he pushed a little harder than before, making the man before him plop down onto the mattress. 

Working quickly now, and not the slightest bit embarrassed about his desires, he kneeled before Arthur. Parting the others legs slightly so that he could squeeze himself in between. Settling well between the strong legs of his now partner, he took hold of the knotted cords of Arthur's pants. The only thing holding them up, and the only thing standing between Merlin and his Lord’s pleasure. The knot was untied in a swift drag, the hems were taken hold of by Merlin as he dragged them off the blonde’s muscled legs. Fine, blond and curly hairs danced under his fingertips.

The pants were discarded somewhere unknown to the both of them. And somehow, Merlin had even managed to take off Arthur’s undergarments. Now Merlin was presented with that of his Lord’s cock. Standing upright and proud, veins protruding. Precum was leaking from the tip, the urge to come closer and lick it off was strong inside of Merlin but… He felt like he needed to ask permission before doing such an intimate thing. And so he asked, slightly embarrassed and timidly. “Can i… would it be possible to… you know?” He didn’t know how to finish the sentence, and hoped Arthur got the idea.

Seeing the embarrassed expression on his soon to be lover ́s face, Arthur ́s heart skipped a beat. It was so like, and at the same time so unlike his manservant to go around asking permission of him for anything. Merlin clearly wanted to pleasure him, and Arthur would be a liar if he said he didn't want this. However, he wanted their time together to be comfortable and at Merlin’s pace. The thought suddenly struck him. Was this Merlin's first time laying with another? The idea of being Merlin ́s first made his mind spin with excitement and his member twitched.

He reeled his thoughts in. “Of course you can, if that's what you want. I'm not forcing you to. Never like that.” He said gently. “I might be royalty, but this should be a pleasant experience for the both of us. And if you'd like, I wouldn't mind returning the favour”. He glanced at the obvious bulge in Merlin's pants. He scooted closer and grabbed hold of Merlin ́s chin, pulling him into another strong kiss. He quickly plunged his tongue inside Merlin ́s mouth for a taste, before pulling back and looking at the other in the eye.

“But before you do, I think we should even the odds a little”. He took hold of the scarf around Merlin ́s neck and untied it. Next, and ran his fingers lightly up under his shirt, feeling the other shiver at his touch. 

In the heat of the moment, Merlin had completely forgotten about himself and his clothes. It was true, he was the only one with clothes on. He thought about it a moment. Should he obey the prince’s demands of shedding his own clothes? Perhaps he should feign defiance, see how far he could push his lord. Merlin desired to see his prince act out. He was always tactful, and charming. It bothered him at times. "What if I don't want to? What would you do then?” He teased him. 

The bulge in his pants was growing at the ideas of what Arthur might do to him, if he didn’t obey the blond. “Would you have me bend over your work desk? Rip down my pants halfway, take me right then and there? Would you, dear Arthur?” The last sentence was said in such a sugary sweet tone, it’d rot one’s teeth. While his former words, were in the teasing manner. Merlin didn’t feel shy anymore. He trusted Arthur with all he was. Their relationship had grown more intimate by this encounter. 

He added, “claim what is rightfully yours, Arthur. I will provide you with anything you ask of me” He paused for a brief second. First considering if he should go for another kiss. He decided against it, as his face turned into a teasing smirk. “Except, I won’t take off my clothes. You’d have to MAKE me.” He awaited Arthur’s response. 

At the obvious challenge in his manservant´s voice, Arthur narrowed his eyes. His breath came even quicker, and he felt the blood rush in his ears at the implications Merlin was making. Two could play at this game. He took hold of the front of Merlin ́s shirt with both hands, feeling the material in his hands, testing it. “Well, my loyal manservant, seeing as you are giving yourself to me so nicely, I shall take what is offered”. He drew Merlin in for a harsh kiss, their lips practically smashing together and their noses bumping slightly. There was no gentleness now. It was all lust.

He drew Merlin closer to him, hauling him up slightly onto the bed. Then, while he kept them busy with the dance their tongues performed. Arthur tightened his hold on the blue fabric in his hands and pulled. The sound of the material giving way was like a whip through the air. Arthur drew back, gasping for breath but still grinning at Merlin. One of his hands traced down the exposed alabaster skin which had been revealed to him. He paused at a nipple, tracing it with his thumb and giving it a slight twist, before he continued downwards. His hand came to Merlin ́s trousers, caressing the dent in the fabric. Drawing a sharp inhale from the ravenette before him.

“As your prince, I expect you to obey, dearest Merlin. This”, he squeezed Merlin´s member lightly, “is mine”. Arthur leaned in and kissed at the chest before him Taking a nipple between his teeth and giving it a small bite before soothing the nub with his tongue. He did this a couple more times, holding Merlin to him with an arm around his back. Then, he planted a kiss in the middle of Merlin ́s chest and said roughly. “All this is MINE. Understand?”. He pushed the ruined shirt down Merlin's arms alongside his jacket, the cloth giving way easily. He stopped when he reached the ravenette´s elbows. 

The moment his shirt was ripped apart by Arthur, was when Merlin lost it. It's not like he could hold back any longer. Not when Arthur bit at his nipples, licked them clean. They probably tasted like salt, coming from his nervous sweating earlier. What drove Merlin past the edge of embarrassment was when the blond took full charge. If his member could get any harder it did just that. It was beyond painful. His trousers constricting. He moaned out under Arthur's talented tongue, "y-yes Arthur, I understand, I understand. Please… Ke-keep going, Arthur!" Merlin's hands had been at a standstill. But now they were coming into action, as he went ahead to pull down the now way too tight trousers. Pushing them down past his hips, he felt his member spring free. His own nowhere near matching the size of his lord's. Merlin didn't care much for that though. He was happy about it in fact. 

Realizing he couldn't get the rest off nearly sitting on Arthur's lap, Merlin got up on his feet. Wrestled them off the rest of the way together with his now ripped shirt and jacket. "Hope I have satisfied you, My Lord." Merlin spoke, making his way back to the bed where Arthur was sat. Where he had left him. He stood in front of Arthur once more, but this time Merlin sat himself directly onto the prince's lap. Their erections touching. He couldn't help the slight moan escaping him, it was all so intoxicating.

"I'm All yours, Arthur…" he looked deeply into Arthur's blue eyes, pupils blown out with lust and passion. Merlin's right hand went for Arthur's, pulling his fingers up to his mouth. He opened up and began to lick away at his lords fingers. Licking, sucking, all out enjoying the taste of him. Of Arthur. 

Having made sure the fingers of the other was well covered in his saliva, Merlin guided the hand behind him. He rested and released it on his buttocks, leading the index finger between his cheeks, showing Arthur where to go. "I'm waiting, My Lord. " When he felt the finger graze his hole, Merlin sucked in a deep breath of air and held it. Preparing himself for the pleasure that was sure to come. 

The canvas of pale skin before him was beautiful to Arthur. Merlin was by no means build like a knight, but his slender form was delicate. Arthur could have kept running his hands along his frame for an eternity. He watched with rapt anticipation as Merlin took his fingers into his mouth to coat them diligently. Before guiding Arthur ́s hand down to Merlin ́s posterior, the cheeks smooth and warm. A silent begging clear as day. With his other hand, Arthur took hold of Merlin ́s hip, thumb caressing the hipbone. 

His hand seemed so rough and calloused against Merlin ́s skin, the contrast almost dizzying. His other hand moved down further. Closer to the warm entrance, circling his fingers around the tight pucker. “Then it would be cruel of me to have you wait any longer, my manservant”. He placed his forefinger gently against the entrance. “Deep breath now, relax for me, doll”. Merlin did as bid, his hands shaking slightly against Arthur. 

The prince oh so slowly inserted the first digit. The tight ring of muscle sucking him in and trying to push him out at the same time. He heard Merlin ́s breath hitch and started kissing his chest and his neck. Offering little distractions from the pain he was causing at the intrusion. “There, try and relax. That's it”. His other hand went from Merlin ́s hip and took hold of his cock, stroking it lazily. Merlin gasped above him, his member leaking precum at the tip. Arthur pumped him in time with his finger stretching him open. “Think you can take another?” he whispered. Merlin nodded hastily but did not answer, his breaths coming faster now. Arthur added another finger gently and started scissoring them. 

They stayed like this for some time, letting the ravenette get used to the feeling. When Merlin started bucking his hips Arthur grinned smugly, and pulled out his fingers. He pulled back and saw the other giving him a questioning look. Then the prince took a strong hold of pale thighs and guided the long legs around his waist. Merlin locked them there tightly. The blonde rose from the mattress and turned around and, grinning, threw his soon to be lover back onto the bed. Merlin bounced, and then Arthur was on him. Taking his hands and placing them above his head in one grip.

“There, now that's better. Let me have a look at you”. He pinched a pink nipple before him, then trailing his hand down the lean torso. Getting lower, he avoided Merlin ́s cock and went back to his entrance. He inserted two fingers again, the moans coming from underneath him sounding heavenly to his ears. He began to feel around for that one spot he knew would take Merlin to new heights. Not much later, but a bit too soon for Arthur ́s liking, Merlin yelled out and his hips jerked violently. Grinning, Arthur looked Merlin in the eye and stated proudly, “Oh? Now what have we here?”. He gave another gently prod at the nerve bundle inside of Merlin. 

For Merlin, this was all going too slow for his liking. Sure he had never done this before, not with a man nor a woman but that didn’t mean he hadn’t experimented a bit by himself. Merlin knew what he liked, what he wanted. He did get what he wanted when Arthur hit his prostate. He saw stars flash before his eyes. It was like everything around him turned blurry, the noise disappearing. 

He heard what Arthur had said, he just couldn’t figure out how to respond. All words had left him. They hadn’t left him for long though, “Arthur, if you don’t hurry this along I swear... “ Merlin was getting irritated by Arthur’s gentle, slow pace. The pace of the prince wasn’t the only thing keeping Merlin on edge though. “Y-you do realise that the door isn’t locked. Any moment a servant, o-or even your father could walk right in on us doing this. Arthur this is dangerous.” He didn’t want it all to stop though, far from it. “If you’re not gonna hurry this up, I for, one will.” With that said, Merlin turned the tables. Catching the blond off guard, Merlin flipped Arthur around so he was the one lying with his back on the mattress. He was now sat on the stomach of the prince. 

In the hurried movement Merlin hadn’t felt how the fingers slipped out of him, but now that his ass was exposed to the cold, he could also feel how his hole was missing something. Behind him Merlin could feel the tip of an erect penis poke his backside. Before he went any further, he wanted to just admire the sight from up top. The slightly tanned skin, contrasting to the dirty blonde hair and blue eyes. Perfection.

Just like Arthur had done to him, he ran both his hands from the prince’s shoulder, down all the way past his chest. To his stomach where perfectly sculpted abs were adorned with curly light hairs. Having admired enough of his lover, Merlin set to work. From behind him, Merlin took hold of Arthur’s member and guided it in between his butt cheeks. The tip was right at the entrance now and all he had to do was slowly descend upon it. So he did. Merlin knew he was still very underprepared to take in Arthur’s big size but… he couldn’t wait any longer. Only the tip had gone past the tight ring muscle, already Merlin felt like he’d run around Camelot’s castle 20 times. Gasping at every inch he further took in. 

Satisfaction, was what he felt when finally, he had the prince sheathed all the way inside of him. He knew this, only because he was sitting back down on his stomach instead of above it. Merlin got accustomed to it rather quickly, rolling his hips back and forth, getting a feel of it. “You ca-can m-mo-move now Ah!- Arthur.” Merlin moaned out. Was he being to loud already? If so they would be doomed. Surely someone would come running to see what was going on in here. Maybe they’d go directly to Uther, spurring him to assess the situation for himself. That would be the worst possible outcome. 

Arthur knew they had to go slow, he knew this rationally. Nevertheless, he could not help but admire the scene before him as Merlin settled on top of him. He knew he should insist they prepare the ravenette generously. Yet the first tight encasing around the tip of his cock was quick to silence that part of his mind. Licking his lips as he gazed at the beauty above him. Arthur slid his hands along Merlin ́s lean legs, up his thighs to settle them on his hips. “I know Merlin”, he said hoarsely. “But I will take responsibility if we have to confront my father, I promise you that”. He was not sure if it was the heat between them talking. He hoped not. There would be no end to Uther ́s outrage if he found out that the prince had lain with a servant. And a man at that. Yet at this moment, Arthur could not find it in himself to care for possible future consequences.

He caressed the skin under his hands. For now, he would enjoy this moment to the fullest. Merlin sank further down on his member, the tight heat hugging around him making him grit his teeth, and his breath catch. Merlin was so impossibly tight, so warm. It was a torturously slow process, and it seemed to be forever before Arthur was fully sheathed inside his lover. Above him Merlin was gasping frantically, his eyes slightly hazy. Arthur swallowed, finding his throat dry. His manservant had begged so prettily for him. The thought of Merlin feeling the aftereffects of their coupling aroused him even more. If Merlin wanted to go rough, then Arthur would deliver like the prince he was.

He growled low in his throat, “hold on tight, doll”. Sitting up, he mouthed at Merlin ́s pale throat. He grabbed tighter and lifted Merlin up. When Arthur felt himself halfway out, he pulled Merlin down and slammed up hard simultaneously. Arthur set a brutal pace, drawing Merlin up, his grip sure to leave bruises on the pale skin he held. The sound of their bodies coming together was loud in the chambers. Only drowned out by the moans punched form Merlin and Arthur ́s grunts. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched Merlin's face. Wanting so capture the pleasure on his features. The ravenette was biting his lips and brought a hand up to cover his mouth, breathing heavily through his nose. Arthur's eyes dilated and he felt like a beast reared its head in his chest. He growled and gripped Merlin ́s hand, ripping it away. 

Staring into blue eyes, Arthur commanded, “None of that, I want to hear you, every sound”. Before the other could respond, Arthur flipped them once more. He was now in between Merlin ́s thighs, holding his arms together above his head. Then, he took hold of one thigh and placed it over his shoulder, folding Merlin nearly in half. “Now, like this. This sight is mine alone. Your moans only for my ears. Do you understand?”. 

Merlin had successfully reached his goal of turning the gentle Arthur into that of a wild one, a rough lover. And he loved it like that. Even if he wasn’t on top commanding and deciding the pace. He didn’t mind, with his body bent in half the blond would be able to reach even further inside him. Hit his bundle of nerves so many times, his words wouldn’t be coherent no more. Merlin wanted so much to obey Arthur’s wish of hearing his desperate moans and groans but… he was scared. Who knew who walked the halls outside the chamber? 

Arthur kept his grueling pace of thrusting in and out of him. Merlin tried to keep up with the rhythm but found he simply wouldn’t be able to in his position. Trying to get his hands free from the prince’s iron grip, he couldn’t help but not be able to control his sounds, especially as Arthur just hit his prostate. Now that he’d found it, he kept mercilessly hitting that spot, again and again. Drool dripping out from Merlins mouth, his moans not contained within the drops, though he wished they were. “I-I understand, I un-under- ngh. Ah! Arthur, please, deeper, faster, harder! Anything!” Merlin didn’t even know what he was saying anymore. He was on the edge, but what about his lord? “I’m.. I’m close- I- Arthur!” 

Again, the spot within him was being abused. When Arthur had flipped them before, Merlin hadn’t paid attention to the fact that his eyes had been squeezed shut the entire time. When he opened them, he looked directly into the handsome face that was the prince’s. His face dripping with sweat, hair wet from it too. His strong blue eyes, felt like they stared directly into Merlin’s soul, touching something inside him. This was what brought Merlin over the edge. The cup had filled and now it tipped over.

He came with a mute sort of cry, back arching and mouth opening as if screaming. But only small sounds of groans came out. His cum spurted onto his stomach, with Arthur being this close, it would be a wonder if some of it hadn’t transferred to him too. Coming back down from ecstasy, he relaxed his back down onto the mattress as much as he could. Seeing as he was still bent almost in half with one leg over the blond’s shoulder. Arthur wasn’t done. 

Panting heavily, Arthur felt a droplet of sweat trail down his face to land upon his lover below him. The blissed expression on Merlin ́s face brought joy to his heart, that he had managed to put it there. Merlin had come quicker than he had anticipated. The poor thing must have been more pent up than he had let on. Arthur had more experience. The occasional strumpet he could find whenever he had been assigned to an excursion with his knights. A prince had his needs. Looking at Merlin now, sated and eyes full of bliss, Arthur wanted their first time together to be memorable. He wanted Merlin ́s body to remember this experience. Remember it for a long time, just in case this would tradigically be the last time.

Quickly, Arthur shook the thought from his mind and focused on the present. Releasing the leg on his shoulder, he leaned down and took Merlin ́s lips in a gasping kiss, saliva coating their lips. When he pulled back, he said, “So good for me, Merlin. Your wonderful”. He rolled his hips lazily, drawing a gasp from the man he had pinned down. His own member still painfully hard inside the tight heat. “But we are not done just yet,” he whispered, “I will have you coming more than once this night. As many times as I want, even when you say that you can't anymore”. Merlin made a questioning noise in the back of his throat, but made no comment, only whimpers as Arthur started thrusting again slowly. Arthur took hold of Merlin ́s cock, giving it a few strokes to bring it back to hardness. Merlin mewled, sensitive after only such a short time since his first release. “Lift your legs up Merlin”, Arthur commanded, “around my hips now, that's it.” 

He guided the pale, long legs around him, making sure Merlin crossed them behind him. Then he took hold of Merlin ́s hands and, intertwining their fingers, brought them above his head on the bed. Arthur then started thrusting again, hard and deep, punching a moan form Merlin ́s lips every time. Arthur answered with moans of his own. He squeezed their hands and picked up the pace, bringing his face down into Merlin ́s neck. “Come for me again, love, I want to hear you”. He felt himself on the very brink of completion and he took hold of Merlin ́s cock trapped between their bodies. Stroking him in time with his thrusts. One, two, three more times, and they came. Arthur saw white as he released as deep as he could inside the warm body beneath him.

Gasping, Arthur collapsed on top of Merlin. The mess between them making their skin all the more sticky. He wanted to stay like that, close to Merlin, inside him, but knew he would be squishing the smaller male. He pulled out slowly, Merlin giving a faint hiss at the feeling. On arms and knees, Arthur panted for breath as he gazed at the ravenette. “Still with me, love?” 

Arthur was sweaty and exhausted, yet also impossibly elated. He could stay like this with Merlin forever, hoping this moment would never end. His eyes were beginning to get heavy. His muscles trembling from the long days on horseback and fighting, and now from their activities in bed. He had intentions of staying awake to ensure Merlin was comfortable, yet it could not hurt to close his eyes for merely a few moments... 

“I’m still here,” panted Merlin. The second orgasm had tired him out completely. “No more, Arthur. Please, it-I’m too sensitive. It hurts.” It was true, the pain. He hadn’t felt it the entire time they were doing it, and now the pain made its presence known. Merlin felt kind of bad about telling Arthur no more. What if his prince wanted more of him? He should give it to him if that’s what he wants. He gazed back at the blond. Then probing himself up on his elbows, came into contact with Arthur’s lips, a short, sweet kiss. Warm and soft, yet slightly dry from the heavy panting, evidence of their sin. Merlin didn’t regret what they had done, but he knew it was wrong, so very wrong but… He loved Arthur and he loved him too. At that thought Merlin broke the kiss, falling down onto the mattress while pushing the prince to the other side with his left hand. His left hand rested on Arthur’s chest, his heartbeat could still be felt pumping away. It comforted him in a weird way. 

Staring up at the ceiling, Merlin spoke “You don’t regret it, right? I-I understand if you do, i’m only a servant after all.” He didn’t dare look over at his lord. “Nonetheless I enjoyed it, I really did.” The silence was killing Merlin on the inside, why didn’t Arthur say anything? He waited a little longer, the next 10 seconds felt like 10 minutes. Perhaps he’d fallen asleep? He looked over to where the prince laid next to him. Sure enough, the blonde was snoring away like no tomorrow. It’s not like he could blame him, seeing as he’s been out and about… “I should probably get out of here before morning. Can’t exactly go around the hallways half naked.” Thankfully he still had his trousers, his shirt being a whole other story. He could always put on his jacket and button it up, yeah that could work.

Merlin sat up on the bed, swinging his long legs over the edge. He sat there for a moment longer, when he suddenly felt a wetness between his thighs, leaking onto the bed sheets. Quickly jumping to his feet, Merlin turned around to see a small stain of pink where he’d sat. “Great,'' was all he could utter, the liquid kept trickling down his legs. Merlin rubbed his eyes before picking up his forgotten clothes off the floor. All except his ripped apart blue shirt. “This was my favorite…” Sure he was sad about the shirt, but then again he could always go buy a new one. 

Merlin looked out the window. It was still dark outside but it wouldn’t be long before the sun would rise. Quickly, he put on his trousers, his jacket and at last his beloved red scarf. Making sure he had everything, he went for the big door leading out to the hallways. Before he went out, he looked back to the prince one last time, admiring the sleeping form. Joy welled up inside of him, mixed with a feeling of dread he didn’t know where came from.

“See you in the morning, Arthur.” With that, he left, very much in need of a bath.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after an intimate encounter can be an awkward thing, especially in new relationships.
> 
> Merlin isn't too sure what to think of it all, so maybe it would be best to act like nothing had happened? Wrong. Arthur has other plans for Merlin in this regard. Communication is key in every relationship, and Arthur is dead set on doing this right on the first try.
> 
> But why did Merlin leave at all? After all, he is the only servant who ever enters his chambers.

Coming back to awareness was a slow and not entirely welcome experience for Arthur. He burrowed his face into the pillow, wishing to disappear for a few more hours. Or at least a couple of minutes before he had to leave the warm and comfortable encase he was in. However as his thoughts cleared, his memories of last night returned, and a small smile bloomed on his face. Still with his eyes closed, he reached out to the other form sharing his bed. His fingers met the cold linens and, brow furrowing, Arthur opened his eyes groggily and looked up. 

In the cool morning sunlight, his chambers looked forlorn, only more so by the fact that he was its only occupant. The sheets held no traces of warmth, meaning Merlin must have left hours ago. Or never stayed in the first place. The last thought made Arthur frown even more. Why would Merlin leave immediately after…? Arthur immediately felt guilty for falling asleep on the other, almost literally- But had that annoyed Merlin to such an extent that he had decided not to spend the night here? Arthur would not have sent him away right after the deed was done, would he? He likes to think he wouldn't. 

Taking a deep breath, he rolled onto his back and stared at the roof of his canopy bed. Arthur ran a hand down his face and sighed. They were going to have to talk, Merlin and he. Though it was surely bound to be a little awkward and stilted. Shivering in the slightly cool air of his chambers, Arthur got out of bed. Winching at the cold floor, he grabbed his breaches to put on as well as a shirt from the wardrobe. His muscles ached from the long trip he had returned from the day before as well as, he grinned a little at the memory, the rounds they had gone last night.

Looking out the window, Arthur assumed it would not be that long until Merlin was to come help him prepare for the day. Returning to the bed, Arthur made himself comfortable once more and settled in to wait. His face became thoughtful. He hoped he could talk things out with Merlin. That they could establish where this, whatever this was, was headed. And yet he had this subtle feeling that it would not be that easy. 

When Merlin woke up he had no recollection of how he’d ended up in his bed. He knew that he had left Arthur’s rooms but no more than that. He laid there, looking up at the roof of his room, just letting his thoughts of their night activities sift through. The slight burn of a blush could be felt on his pale and hollow cheeks. Deciding he’d dwelled enough on his memories, Merlin got up from his bed. A new day had just started after all. 

He put on a pair of trousers and just as he was about to pick up his favorite shirt, he was reminded of the fact that Arthur had in fact ripped it apart from his body… His cheeks were not the only part of his body to burn with a blush now. His ears burnt at the tips. Luckily he had another shirt he was nearly as fond of, a purple shirt. It went decently with his red scarf and matted brown jacket. All dressed up, Merlin was prepared for yet another day in the presence of the prince. 

Before stepping out, Merlin had all but forgotten about the fact that maybe Arthur wanted to talk about last night? What if he regretted it, and they would have to go on as if nothing had happened between them at all?. Merlin would be devastated at that, he was at the thought alone just now. “You shouldn’t be saddened by things that haven't happened yet, Merlin.” He told himself, despite his real feelings. It always seemed easier to say than do, even when talking to yourself. Putting the thought away, Merlin opened the door to the big open room where Gaius sat, reading a giant book. Probably about herbs. He greeted the older “Good morning, Gaius. Slept well I presume?” At the sound of Merlin’s voice, he looked up from the book and over to the young boy. “Good morning to you too, my boy. Why yes I slept well, thank you for asking. Would I be correct in presuming you did the very same?” Gaius was kind as ever, and Merlin loved that about him. He was like a dad to him, the dad he never really had. Merlin smiled at the older and merely nodded in response to his question. “I should get going, can’t keep the lord waiting for too long now, can we?” Having a good sense of humor, which he never failed to act upon. Gaius let out a short, airy laugh at the young man antics about the prince. “Best get going then.” Merlin heard him shout as we went out the door, making his way up to prince Arthur’s chamber. 

The closer he got to the room, the quicker his heart beat. It was drumming loudly in his ears, and before he knew it he was stood before the giant door to his loves chambers. Merlin sucked in a deep breath through his nose. Holding it for a few seconds, then letting it out through his mouth. He did this a couple of times before putting on his classical bright smile, making a grab at the door handle, pushing it inwards. No turning back now, not like he had a choice anyway. As soon as Merlin entered the chamber, the first thing he saw was the blonde head of Arthur, the man sitting on the bed. He looked like he’d been waiting for quite some time in fact. 

Merlin wanted to pretend like nothing had happened, at least for now. So he stepped closer into the chamber and spoke loud and clear. “Good morning, My Lord. Ah, I see you got yourself dressed this morning, well done!” He desperately tried to joke his way out of this, but it seemed like Arthur wasn’t having it with his antics today. The prince looked very serious. Yet, Merlin continued, “So what chores do you have for me today, Sir?” In anticipation, Merlin waited for Arthur’s answer, ready to take on nearly any chore. As long as we don’t have to talk about last night. Not for now anyways… Not ready for it yet. 

As time went on and Arthur waited for the arrival of his manservant, “lover” a treacherous part of his brain teasingly whispered, his thoughts became more and more tangled. Would Merlin even wish to continue this...affair? Did Arthur want to? He was unsure. So many things could go wrong. His father finding out about them being near the top of the list as the worst possible conclusion. “There is no doubt on the cruelty in what he would do to Merlin, should Uther find out”, Arthur thought bitterly, “banishment would be a mercy in his eyes”. He did not want to think on this and yet he could not stop his worrying. 

He rested his elbows on his knees and brought his hands to his mouth, thinking. When he reached down into himself, Arthur could say honestly that he would not mind to repeat his experience with Merlin. He would do it again, and again. Another thought hit him then. Did Merlin do what he did last night because he thought it would please Arthur only? As if it was to be only another chore for Merlin to fulfill as a servant? It was not unheard of for the nobility to sate themselves quickly together with a servant when no other option was accessible. “That man, he wouldn't. Would he? Arthur thought exasperated. Merlin would not be giving himself up like that, not even for Arthur. Merlin had made his opinion on Arthur ́s position as prince clear. The monikers of “clotpole” and “prat” mentioned more than once, every time this subject of discussion came up between them. 

Arthur sighed deeply, he was probably making this whole situation more complicated than he ought to. They would have a conversation like reasonable grown ups, and see where they stood with each other. Just as the train of thought seemed to come to a stop, the door to his chambers opened abruptly. Startled, Arthur looked up at the intrusion, and came face to face with the centre of his current internal debate. Merlin entered the room and spoke clearly and cheerfully, “Good morning, My Lord. Ah, I see you got yourself dressed this morning, well done!”. Arthur twitched at the insinuation at his own incapabilities at refreshing himself without assistance. A minor scowl made its way onto his face, but he smoothed out his features quickly. “I will ask you not to patronize me, Merlin,'' he answered. But the ravenette had already started to look around the room, his attention not on the prince. Merlin then said, “So what chores do you have for me today, Sir?”. Arthur paused, his mind going blank as he did not know how to react to what he had been asked. 

He had anticipated Merlin being at least a little hesitant to come here. Or perhaps to behave even more clumsily than normal in his attempt to approach the subject of their nightly escapade. This seemed more like complete avoidance. Arthur stood up and looked at the other man. “Before we get to any of that, Merlin, I would suggest we talk about what happened last night”. Out of the corner of his eye, Arthur noticed the door was still slightly ajar, and went and closed it firmly. 

He stood there and breathed for a second, face towards the wood. “We can try and pretend like what occurred, did not take place, yet we both clearly remember it”. Arthur turned to face the other. Merlin's eyes flitted around the room a little. “I need to ask you, did you sleep with me last night completely willing?”. He needed to hear this first of all. That it hadn't been another chore for Merlin. “Do you regret what we did”?. 

It didn’t come as a surprise when Arthur started shooting questions at him, he deserved answers after all. Merlin was also happy that the blond had such keen eyes, as to see the door had been left wide open when he had entered just a moment ago.

Merlin had a hard time keeping eye contact with Arthur. It was uncomfortable given the situation he was in right now, with his lord demanding answers for his actions last night. He sighed, a deep and long breath. “Guess we can’t act like nothing happened… It took place, and I didn't regret it, I really enjoyed it Arthur. I did it willingly, I’m just scared right now… Arthur. I’m scared you would leave me, so I had to leave before I could get my heart broken. It’s selfish, I know. I could have just asked you but… You know this can’t be.” Merlin felt his throat tighten at his last sentence. It felt like a huge lump was stuck there. 

Through the tight feeling of his throat Merlin continued, “ I love you, and I know you love me too. But please understand you need to be able to provide an heir, Arthur. You know what I say is true. And honestly I couldn't go with my heart broken, knowing you’d have to lay with a woman in order to produce this heir. I’m doing this to protect myself!” Knowing he’d spoken at a faster pace than usual, Merlin hoped the blond could even comprehend all he had just said. He’d just revealed his fears and wasn’t entirely sure that was the right thing to do, but now he’d done. Tears threatened to fall should he blink but once, he couldn’t show weakness at this moment.  
Merlin was angry and sad, making his open hands into fists. He dared a look at the prince’s face, searching for his eyes. That was all it took to break the dam, fat tears rolling down his cheeks. “What would you have me do Arthur? We could keep it a secret sure but, just think about it. You can’t expect me to accept you having sex with another, simply because I can’t bear a child. That is not love… that’s just torture.” Merlin wasn’t sure he even made sense anymore. And the others silence wasn’t much to go by. He wouldn’t be surprised if he was angry at Merlin, having said the things he had. 

Every word that passed Merlin´s lips felt like a slap to the face, or like a stab to his heart, for Arthur. He knew these words were very true in their rationality and cruelty. He was the crown prince, the only legitimate heir to the throne of Camelot and the kingdom. The line of succession rested on his shoulders. He had a duty to his people and the throne. That included ensuring the Pendragon line would continue it’s dominion of Albion. These words were most like the ones Arthur had been told most repeatedly throughout his entire life. For many years, they brought forth a feeling of great pride and anticipation, for the responsibilities he would one day inherit from Uther and past rulers. 

Notwithstanding, hearing them uttered now, with Merlin's eyes full of pain and tears, but also determination, the words sounded so much more like a life sentence of imprisonment. Of a bleak and hollow future where Arthur would have to appease all but himself. To give up his own happiness and joy, and consequently, also that of Merlin ́s own. They were placed in a metaphorical hangman's noose, both of them, and it was Arthur ́s answer which would decide if the trapdoor beneath their feet would remain shut and sealed. Or if the rope would tighten around them until it could no more. How were they supposed to navigate this whole affair? He did not know, yet they had to try. Right now that was all they could do.

Approaching the tearful ravenette, Arthur closed the distance between them until they almost breathed the same air. Slowly and gentle, the prince brought up his hands to Merlin's face. His thumbs stroking over his cheeks and drying away a few tears, holding his lover ́s face like it might break like fine glass. “If that is your selfishness Merlin”, he uttered softly, “then forgive me for wanting to be selfish likewise. Could I dictate it, I would never have you lay with anyone else either. I would have you for myself. Your kind heart, your beautiful, clumsy self and your clever mind. As you claim, treating you like a side dish, only to be enjoyed whenever the main course is finished, would be nothing but pure cruelty”. Arthur leaned his forehead gently against Merlin ́s, his own eyes beginning to sting slightly. “I would love nothing more than to be with you openly and wholeheartedly, because you deserve nothing less. But we must be careful. We must use caution. You know where my father stands with many things, you know what he is wont to do. I swear I will try my hardest to protect you, I can't make complete promises of safety. But know that you have me, Merlin, you will always have me, heir or no heir”. 

Merlin was taken aback by his prince's words, they rang in his head for a while, processing. Then it finally hit him, and he didn't know how to react. Except he did know how to react. Merlin knew this feeling. Anger. The hands on his cheek were quickly removed, thrown back to the side of the taller’s body. “Arthur, don’t be ridiculous, and by all means don’t lie to yourself or to me. Heir or no heir you say, but that’s not true. We may stay hidden from your father’s watchful eyes but the future will have you take a wife as soon as your father deems you prepared to take over the throne!” He was screaming by now, fire flaring inside him. 

Merlin had taken a step back away from Arthur. His arms crossed over his stomach in a defensive state, telling the prince to not come any closer to him. Merlin was shocked, mostly over his own words and how harsh they sounded. He hadn’t meant for everything to turn out like this. 

The shy side of him spoke it’s opinion “I-I truly want to stay by your side Arthur, but only if you can promise me you won’t cast me away when you’ve gotten what you wanted. Or when your father introduce you to fair ladies from far and wide.” It wasn’t like Merlin would ever deem his lord to be that kind of person. For years he had worked under him, and that was not the behavior of the prince before him. His tall, proud and loyal prince. A true knight of Camelot. Suddenly the thought of what their children would have looked like flashed through Merlin’s brain. Would they have Arthur’s deep ocean eyes or Merlin’s colder ones? Blond or black hair? Would their skin be that of his lord’s sun kissed tan, or his own pale alabaster skin, slightly speckled with freckles? He couldn’t help a smile and the slight chuckle as he thought about a true copy of Arthur, but with slightly bigger ears. Slightly sticking out from his head.

Having noticed he’d been chuckling to himself, leaving the prince more than confused perhaps, he had to explain. “Say, if we could have children what do you think they would look like? I imagine a tiny prat, blonde hair with the pale skin like I myself and with a perfect pair of keen, deep blue eyes like yours, my lord.” A seductive tone had taken place in Merlin’s voice, as he stepped closer to the taller of the two, his arms dropping their defensive state. As he drew closer Merlin’s arms rose up to grab hold of Arthur’s loose shirt, grabbing it tightly. 

Tilting his head upwards, he met with the other’s blue eyes and whispered “I’m sorry Arthur, I know I must have confused you. Heir or no heir is what you said so I believe you. We’ll work through this, right?” Merlin knew his eyes were twinkling with that of hope. Hope of Arthur forgiving him for his weird and uncontrollable emotions.

Standing dumbstruck before his manservant spewing one thought after another, Arthur barely had the ability to keep up with Merlin ́s ramblings. He had gotten the impression that their talk was headed in the right direction, and it seemed it had. Yet what Arthur had assumed would alleviate Merlin ́s worries had only seemed to bring forth his anger. Merely for Merlin to keep going, mouthing of about little ones and colors, Arthur couldn't quite make sense at the speed this mostly one-sided conversation was going at. 

It didn’t help his addled brain when Merlin leaned in close, oh so close Arthur could smell the scent that was pure Merlin. It was like that of stored herbs, sunlight and some other smell that Arthur had no name for even if he were to search through several dictionaries. On top, he could detect a hint of soap. His servant had taken a bath. He should really see about getting one for himself seeing as he got enjoyably distracted last night. 

A small part of him, the part he was trying to ignore in favor of his other head not getting the better of him, was a little sullen that Merlin no longer smelled of him. Shaking that thought away, he realized his hands had settled automatically on Merlin’s sides, without Arthur even noticing. The little stampcrab was more alluring than Arthur was prepared for first thing in the morning. He wondered briefly what he would have done, had Merlin actually been lying beside him when he woke up. Most likely something quite voluptuous for them both. 

Clearing his throat quickly, Arthur gently took hold of Merlin’s wrists and put a bit of air between them. “Exactly.” Come on Arthur, pull yourself together, he chastised himself, now is not the time to be tongue tied. “I wish to give this between us the best chance possible. Since it will only be a matter of time before my father finds a “suitable match”, here he rolled his eyes, “we should enjoy it to the fullest. But with discretion for our safety, unfortunately.” He paused, looking away to the side. “Nevertheless, to answer you previous question,'' Arthur took Merlin’s hands and squeezed them lightly. “For those imaginary children of ours”, he could not help a small chuckle at the admission and the imagery”, “I would hope they have your complexion and blue eyes for sure. Perhaps, if there were multiple, one might even inherit your...distinguishing...ears”. Arthur chuckled a little at Merlin’s slightly affronted expression, and he rose a hand to caress one of his ears gently. 

He threw an arm around the smaller man’s shoulders and began steering him back towards the door. Merlin snorted besides him, giving him a look. “With all due respect my lord, I would feel even more pity for those little ones if they were they to inherit even a dime of your sparkling ego and personality”. Arthur barked a laugh, and Merlin grinned. The prince released the other and went back before he called over his shoulder. “Now about those chores for the day”, Merlin’s grin faded, “where is that bath that should have been ready last night, Merlin?” Any other servants on the closest floors could hear a shout of what sounded vaguely similar to “clotpole” and “entitlement”. Another day had begun in Camelot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a rather short chapter, but we felt the need to update since we manged 100 hits (which we did not expect at all! so thank you!) 
> 
> It's also very short because we were not entirely sure where we wanted to go with this chapter. We had an idea at first but got lost, therefore deciding to make it a tiny filler about the day after, with their feelings and thoughts coming to light.
> 
> The next chapter will be longer we can promise you that, we know where we want to go with this one. This was just a tiny hurdle we had to get over, and we did. Yay!
> 
> A side note  
> We had a 10-15 minute discussion about what breeches/breaches were and how they looked. Ultimately, we couldn't come to an agreement. Nelthalen wrote the paragraph containing this word, so she gets to decide how and which she will use.   
> By all means, this wasn't a heated discussion. It was good fun and we both love to discuss things like these, so we had a pretty good laugh through and after this one


End file.
